Such reality checks are more important when you are trying to an emotional affair, for example when a subordinate talk with you about a problem with a co-worker. Emotion tends to make the person less clear. It depends on you be sure you’re getting the true message of the other person. On such occasions, you might ask, is this what you are trying to tell me?, and refrasee what you think that the person is trying to say. Then, by your response, make sure that you have understood what was said by the person.
Through these questions, you also get that the other person will give you the elaborations, corrections and adjustments to what was expressed, that can, at times, make a very significant difference. One way to test your progress in this aspect, is recording his telephone conversations. Hear again them and note how often you asked questions and refraseo what the other person said. Conquer the fear of silence. The impulse to fill a silence can be almost irresistible.
It is best not to speak immediately after there is a silence, no matter what the other person has said. Even when they have asked a question for which you have a ready answer, take a moment to think. If the other party stops talking, begin to count and keep doing it until she returns to talk. Do not rush to fill the silence. Acquire the practice of pausing to speak, that allows you to think, analyze the situation, look at the tone of voice of the other person, appreciate the things that may be different from what you had planned, all of which will allow you to listen better and give better answers. What happen if you faced in a negotiation with another person who is also a good listener? Could an embarrassing silence happen? Quite the contrary, each of these negotiators would do a lot of good questions to the other, listen to the responses of the other, and would value information obtained by formulating terms of an agreement, which reflect what is important to each part. Thus, clashes which could have been tediously long days, can be resolved within hours. Take note. This announces to the other person that you have much interest in listening to it, so that you are writing down what he or she says. That also keeps it you busy and thus you can not talk much. In addition, it allows you end the conversation by saying, I can go back to my notes and review the things you said are important to you on this subject. Put your work aside. As soon an employee comes to you and wants to talk, put anything that is working in the drawer. Avoid any temptation to do anything, that is not giving full attention to the employee. Biting the tongue. One of the first signs that someone is not listening, is when he or she cuts to who is talking in mid sentence or half thought. Make sure that your employee has ended, until you start talking smile and lean forward. You will be surprised the effect that a simple smile can have. Smiling and leaning forward, you send the message that you are completely interested in what the person says. Always ask questions.